Saving Shaggy
by UnstableUniverses
Summary: Shaggy is a very very sad teenager when he gets assigned Wanda and Cosmo to be his Fairy God Parents. But will they be able to save him when they have no idea why he is so sad? Written for the Unstable Universes podcast.


"So. Do we wake him up?" Cosmo asked.

"Its been 16 hours, he can't still be tired right?" Wanda replied.

Both floating small people looked below them at the human mess that was Shaggy. The air reeked of weed and booze, garbage littered the floor and it was clear the teenager had not showered since his creation in 1969. It made Cosmo and Wanda long for the days when they were still assigned to Timmy Turner.

"Let's do this I guess," Wanda said before poofing a fire truck into the small apartment. The siren wailed as the lights flashed, Fred ran out of his room in a state of pure panic, but Shaggy failed to even stir.

"What the fuck is happening?!" Fred screamed in rage. He had been in the middle of his skin care routine and stress was most certainly not a part of it.

"Oh sorry. We didn't know anyone would be home. We need to get shaggy to wake up. Can you help please?" Cosmo said.

"Fuck off," Fred replied walking out of the living room. Wanda began to roll her eyes but stopped when she saw Fred walking back out with a box in his hands. He skillfully and with much accuracy tossed the box directly onto Shaggy's chest, small brown treats spilling out, directly into his partially open mouth. Fred didn't even pause in his stride, just walked back into his room, slamming the door behind him.

Shaggy began to chew the small morsels in his huge gob. Slowly he became more and more animated as he shoveled huge handfuls of the snacks into his mouth. His eyes remained closed but tears dripped down his face. He had to slow down as sobs wracked his body. It wasn't until he swallowed his last mouthful that Shaggy opened his eyes and noticed to two fairies watching on in horror.

"Who are you guys? What are you doing in my apartment?" Shaggy asked slowly, his mind slipping into a food coma.

"We are your…" Wanda whispered.

"Fairy God Parents!" Cosmo shouted. A series of fireworks went off as the title card for Fairly odd parents popped up.

"WHY!" Came a shout from Fred's room, "It's 11pm why are we yelling in the living room right now? Why is this necessary?"

Cosmo, Wanda and Shaggy exchanged guilty looks but ultimately did not care about Fred's sleep schedule.

"Okay," Shaggy said slowly, "but why are you here?"

"We were assigned to you by the Fairy Corporation for very very sad children. And although you are not very very sad children you are a very very sad teenager you are so incredibly sad that they assigned you fairy god parents anyway," Wanda explained.

"So you're going to make me happy," Shaggy said quizzically.

"Thank god!" Yelled Fred from inside his room, "he hasn't even bothered to learn how to run the dishwasher." From the way that his voice was muffled, Shaggy knew that Fred was in his blanket burrito state. It was a dangerous state to find him in.

"So what can we do to make you happy? Would you like some candy? A trip to Disney land? A sexy lady friend? A sexy man friend?" Cosmo asked, poofing all of the things that he mentioned into existence.

"Maybe another box of my special snack?" Shaggy shrugged.

Cosmo puffed hundreds of boxes of the special snack into the small apartment. Shaggy began to eat as Wanda pulled Cosmo into the kitchen.

"Cosmo, this isn't working. He's just eating away his feelings. I don't know about you but I want to get out of here as soon as possible. This place is a cesspool," she said plucking some stray cobwebs out of Cosmo's hair.

"He's fi-" Cosmo was cut off by a loud sob that echoed from the living room, "Okay maybe you're right."

Wanda moved back into the living room, she created a black hole and began to throw away the boxes.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Shaggy yelled. He quickly jumped off of the couch and began gathering the boxes into his lanky stoner arms.

"We are going to give you a bath and take you out for a night on the town," Wanda said. She was becoming obviously annoyed. Like your mom when you forget to defrost the chicken meant for dinner and she acts all passive aggressive to you as she tried to figure out what to make for dinner now that your fuck up has ruined everything; I'm sorry mom.

Wanda grabbed onto Shaggy's dirty green oversized t-shirt and hauled his ass to the bathroom. "Please take a shower you are so gross."

Cosmo and Wanda heard the shower turn on and Shaggy stepping inside.

"Once he's clean he will start to feel better. You stay here and listen to make sure he's okay. I'm going to start cleaning the living room," Wanda whispered.

Cosmo nodded his head and sat down on one of hard Ikea kitchen chairs. Wanda turned the knob on the black hole to super succ and it began to vacuum the entire room at once. When Shaggy walked out of the bathroom, still soaking wet, the vacuum that the black hole created dried him instantly, like a really big blow drier that sucks instead of blows, a big suck drier if you will.

"I'm going to put some clothes on," Shaggy said, he didn't care enough to cover his junk. Wanda was very happy as this since she is an un-loyal ho and Cosmo deserves better.

When Shaggy was dressed in his usual Oversized green t-shirt and burgundy pants he looked a little bit better. It was obvious that being clean in a clean environment was actually helping. Cosmo and Wanda started to feel hope again.

"Thanks for cleaning me up guys. But I don't think I have the energy to actually go out. How about I take a nap for a few hours and then I'll let you know how I'm feeling." Shaggy said although he had no intention of ever going out with these green and pink beings. He climbed back onto the couch and began packing a bowl.

"Sidebar, now," Wanda whispered to Cosmo. They floated back into the kitchen as the sounds of bubbling and the smell of weed filled the living room.

"I don't know what to do. Forcing him to go outside isn't actually going to help. He's sad and we have no clue why." Wanda was pacing back and forth but Cosmo wasn't paying attention, he was staring intently at the wall. "All of these things will make him feel better for a little while but if he doesn't want to get better there's nothing we can do. He needs a reason to want to get better."

"He need's a dog," Cosmo smiled, pointing behind Wanda at the framed photo on the wall. It was a collage of photos featuring Shaggy with a Great Dane. The photo's were spread out all over the dogs life. Photos of the two eating those special snacks, running away from monsters, hot boxing a car and even spooning in bed. The fairies both knew what they had to do.

Shaggy was begging to slip into another six hour nap, everything felt heavy from all of the dank kush he had smoked. His eyes had just closed when he heard a clacking sounds running across the hardwood floor. He bolted upright to see what the noise was, and quickly a brown Great Dane puppy tackled him back down. Tears filled Shaggy's eyes as he pet the sweet small pup. Cosmo and Wanda entered the room, huge smiles on their faces.

"He's all yours," Wanda beamed.

"And he won't die until you do." Cosmo added on.

Shaggy looked at the two ethereal beings and smiled for the first time since they had met him. His lanky arms were wrapped around his new best friend and the silly dog lapped at Shaggy's face. He couldn't find the words to thank them.

"I think he needs a name," Cosmo said.

Shaggy held the dog up and really looked at him, trying to find a name worthy of such a blessing.

"Scrappy, Scrappy-Doo," Shaggy said.

Cosmo's pager buzzed with a message, it read, "Congrats of successfully cheering up your very very sad teenager. He is going to be okay thanks to you. Report back to headquarters for your new assignment."

"Looks like we need to go Wanda," Cosmo told her.

Shaggy's head snapped up, "Thank you for everything." He stood up, keeping Scrappy in his arms and pulled his ex-fairy god parents into a warm hug. "I'm going to try and be better for him."

THE END


End file.
